I remember a time so long ago, when two girls walked out of school together, scarfed down lunch together. Talked together, didnt talk together. Held hands and walked in a mall together.

I remember conversations and hurt and anger and smiles and laughter. I remember sharing secrets and hopes and dreams. But most of all I remember sharing nothing at all.

I remember the heartfelt bloodline we had between us.

"If you had to choose, between me and a boy, I would say you should choose the boy... because you will always have me"

Perhaps I am not so able to do that.

I do not remember asking you of much, not at all.
But I asked you in that moment, I asked you... I asked you to not do it. For my sake, not do it.

But you did. And in between my pendulous swing of being ok with it or not, you said to me. "I dont know if youre ok with it, but if you feel this way, then maybe it would be better if I didnt"

I thought then that our friendship meant more than any man. Just like it has for so long. Just as it had.

But you did. And you jumped and you landed in open arms.

Can you understand my hurt? Can you understand my betrayal?

If you are happy, then I am happy for you. But I cannot be happy with you.

I dont want to talk about him, or about you and him. I dont want to know

And I dont understand why you think I need to know. Why you need to rub the salt of a broken promise into the wound of a hurt friendship.

I will always love you. The child in me will never let go of your hands. The girl in me will never forget our time together.

I will always love you, but I cannot always be here for you. And I think its unfair that you want me to. That you insist this is something I need to know.

I do not tell you everything. And thats the honest truth, because some things are too hurtful to say. Some things you do not need to know.

You and I, we are ok. But do not try to force this man into the small space between us. Especially not after our pledges and promises.

No man will come between us.