I was going to write about my trip and all, but something I thought more interesting came up.
Some people ask me, tip toe around me, to ask how is it possible for me to do what I do, and not feel shame, or guilt, or remorse.
How do I sleep with myself every night, after being with other people's boyfriends, lovers, husbands
What do you want me to say? That I cry myself to sleep? That my heart aches every night wishing I was that woman they say they love. That I go to bed guilt ridden and hating myself?
I dont. This is my way of life. Do I think that what Im doing is wrong? I dont. Do I think what Im doing is right? I dont.
I lie in the grey area of being your worst nightmare and your best enemy.
Truth be told, I dont HUNT for taken men. I dont WANT your boyfriends, or lovers or husbands. Thats not what I do. Sometimes, it just so happens, that they are taken when they are also taken by me. Sometimes, I honestly fall for them and find out later on that they have partners.
Sometimes, I too am my own worst enemy.
How do I have sex without the emotional attachment? Years of heartbreak and pain and walls. Years of living on my own and dealing with myself sipritually, emotionally. Identifying me, knowing my boundaries.
Reminding myself, every single time I am with someone, that this is not permanent, that this feeling whatever it is, its not real. Reminding myself that any single guy I am with could easily cheat on me if he was to ever enter a relationship with me. Reminding myself, that the men who are with me are cheating with their partners.
As fucked up as it is, it works. I am distanced from the men, emotionally. The physical lust is always there, the desperate need for a warm body, a man to hold you. The sadness that you do sometimes, need a hug.
Physically I am there, emotionally I am not.
All you have to do is look at me when we are together and you will see it all.
How do I live with myself? Doing the vile things that I do?
Easily, because I dont think its wrong. What stops a man from cheating? What is the source of that? If I wasnt around, would he still cheat? If he wanted to, then yes, if not with me it would be with someone else.
You know that saying dont kill the messenger?
I am simple a messenger. A medium through which he is acting out on.
So before you judge me for being the other woman, remember, I never go out looking for your men, they come to me. I never hunt them down just to take them away from you, they come to me.
Do not blame me for saying yes or no to them. Take some responsibility, and recognize the role you have or have not played in pushing him towards me
Happy New Year
Some people ask me, tip toe around me, to ask how is it possible for me to do what I do, and not feel shame, or guilt, or remorse.
How do I sleep with myself every night, after being with other people's boyfriends, lovers, husbands
What do you want me to say? That I cry myself to sleep? That my heart aches every night wishing I was that woman they say they love. That I go to bed guilt ridden and hating myself?
I dont. This is my way of life. Do I think that what Im doing is wrong? I dont. Do I think what Im doing is right? I dont.
I lie in the grey area of being your worst nightmare and your best enemy.
Truth be told, I dont HUNT for taken men. I dont WANT your boyfriends, or lovers or husbands. Thats not what I do. Sometimes, it just so happens, that they are taken when they are also taken by me. Sometimes, I honestly fall for them and find out later on that they have partners.
Sometimes, I too am my own worst enemy.
How do I have sex without the emotional attachment? Years of heartbreak and pain and walls. Years of living on my own and dealing with myself sipritually, emotionally. Identifying me, knowing my boundaries.
Reminding myself, every single time I am with someone, that this is not permanent, that this feeling whatever it is, its not real. Reminding myself that any single guy I am with could easily cheat on me if he was to ever enter a relationship with me. Reminding myself, that the men who are with me are cheating with their partners.
As fucked up as it is, it works. I am distanced from the men, emotionally. The physical lust is always there, the desperate need for a warm body, a man to hold you. The sadness that you do sometimes, need a hug.
Physically I am there, emotionally I am not.
All you have to do is look at me when we are together and you will see it all.
How do I live with myself? Doing the vile things that I do?
Easily, because I dont think its wrong. What stops a man from cheating? What is the source of that? If I wasnt around, would he still cheat? If he wanted to, then yes, if not with me it would be with someone else.
You know that saying dont kill the messenger?
I am simple a messenger. A medium through which he is acting out on.
So before you judge me for being the other woman, remember, I never go out looking for your men, they come to me. I never hunt them down just to take them away from you, they come to me.
Do not blame me for saying yes or no to them. Take some responsibility, and recognize the role you have or have not played in pushing him towards me
Happy New Year
Hahaha yea I was like, what's with all these questions suddenly...
If it was your father who's been sleeping around with other women, I guess you would entirely blame it on your mom for the role she has / has not played, wouldn't you
It's fun to do it when you are not the victim. Just hope that one day, when you got married, your hubby will not play behind your back, or probably you will never get married as you might be afraid that it will happen to you
Happy new year