I watch you fall. Headfirst, body jumping willing able into that dark oblivion. You dont want to fight, rather not fight and prefer to keep things the way they are. You want the drama. You want the pain. You want the realization that people are bullshit and men are crap and the world isnt fair. You want it all and you want it now.
My words mean nothing. My thought and worries mean nothing. For friends, do simply that. They are supposed to watch as friends jump off willingly into a sea of hate and pain and self loathing and messes. Friends watch sipping a cup of coffee as the body falls flat onto the ground. Friends watch as you slowly, somehow, painfully extricate your body from the pavement of lost loves and men that have crushed you under a sea of misery. Friends are merely spectators to your life, never willing participants.
I'm sorry that part of me doesnt want that to happen. Im sorry that part of me never wants to see you hurt. Im sorry that my wanting this inexplicably hurts you. It is the same no matter which way round. Because friends. True friends. Never want to see you unhappy just so that you can learn some life lessons. Friends never want to watch the blood and gore of an accident so easily avoidable.
Friends. Will always want to protect you, shield you, will take a bullet so that you never have to meet the dark corners of light, so that the world will always remain safe for you.
Perhaps at the end of the day, what is my mistake is that my understanding of friendship and yours differ. While I wish for nothing but happiness for the ones closest to me, your wish is to never let anyone try to dictate your life for you. Which may include well meaning advice. While I would leap in front of careening car without a thought to save you, you never want to be saved.
You want me to watch you fall. And be there when you somehow, painfully, somewhere extricate yourself.
I will honor your wishes. I will leave you be. Because at the end of the day. My sanity is worth far more than yours. One of us amongst all over us, has to always be ok at one point in time. Today, it may be me. Tomorrow, it may be you.
Life would never work if all of us was wallowing in self pity and despair.
Im walking away. One of these days, when youre ready, and you have washed the blood of your hands and healed the broken bones within. Come find me. I cannot do this to myself. Im sorry. I love you to much to watch you fall. But I love me too much to know when to walk away.
My words mean nothing. My thought and worries mean nothing. For friends, do simply that. They are supposed to watch as friends jump off willingly into a sea of hate and pain and self loathing and messes. Friends watch sipping a cup of coffee as the body falls flat onto the ground. Friends watch as you slowly, somehow, painfully extricate your body from the pavement of lost loves and men that have crushed you under a sea of misery. Friends are merely spectators to your life, never willing participants.
I'm sorry that part of me doesnt want that to happen. Im sorry that part of me never wants to see you hurt. Im sorry that my wanting this inexplicably hurts you. It is the same no matter which way round. Because friends. True friends. Never want to see you unhappy just so that you can learn some life lessons. Friends never want to watch the blood and gore of an accident so easily avoidable.
Friends. Will always want to protect you, shield you, will take a bullet so that you never have to meet the dark corners of light, so that the world will always remain safe for you.
Perhaps at the end of the day, what is my mistake is that my understanding of friendship and yours differ. While I wish for nothing but happiness for the ones closest to me, your wish is to never let anyone try to dictate your life for you. Which may include well meaning advice. While I would leap in front of careening car without a thought to save you, you never want to be saved.
You want me to watch you fall. And be there when you somehow, painfully, somewhere extricate yourself.
I will honor your wishes. I will leave you be. Because at the end of the day. My sanity is worth far more than yours. One of us amongst all over us, has to always be ok at one point in time. Today, it may be me. Tomorrow, it may be you.
Life would never work if all of us was wallowing in self pity and despair.
Im walking away. One of these days, when youre ready, and you have washed the blood of your hands and healed the broken bones within. Come find me. I cannot do this to myself. Im sorry. I love you to much to watch you fall. But I love me too much to know when to walk away.
