I am too beyond myself to help anyone but myself. I cannot be there for anyone else, until I am there for me

I am piled with responsibilities. Unwanting, unmasking

Apparently, Im the only person who can be trusted with these duties.

I have no idea how things are right now, if blood battles have skived the floors. If scars unmending blossom open again against the slightest touch.

I want to retreat, and hide and wish that it will all stop, that it will all go away.

I just want to go back to when I was a kid and the world made sense and was safe.

But no, I am the only one responsible remember? The only one who can fix all the problems surrounding me

Im supposed to to choose my battles. To fight only those that are worth fighting, worth caring. That knowledge doesn't silence the screams I hear around me, it doesn't silence the pleas that I have to help. To fix, to mend. It doesn't stop me from dreaming of death, of succumbing painlessly into a deep sleep where I no longer have to worry, no longer have to cry

I. really. hate. being. the. responsible. one. the. breadwinner. the . stoic. daughter. the unbending. friend. the. unyielding. lover. the. girl. who. smiles. and. dances. her. heart. out. The. labeled. party. girl.

I am tired of everything. I am tired of being pulled to pieces
What have I ever demanded from you? of you?
Nothing. I have never asked for anything. I have created and built everything that I am.

World leave me alone