There is nothing like reaching into the deepness of your core and not caring. Of knowing you can drink yourself to death and act a fool and say all the wrong things

I like where Im going with this, the freedom of novelty and new ideas.
I can say do not worry about me, but all of you will

So all I can say is, I know I have been here before, I got through it before, I will again in my own sweet time

I do not want to hear words of encouragement, of worry. I do not want to feel guilty for leaving you alone, for not taking care of you, I do not want to feel responsible for your unhappiness, for the fact that my not being there means your life is over.

I do not want to hear mushiness from anyone and everyone.


And so last night, as I dropped him off the corner of his street. He gets out, takes his things and turns to me. Quickly just before he leaves, a soft peck on my shoulder, a goodbye.

I am surprised by a man I knew was not interested. A potential I had let go.

I am surprised by our laughter in the car, him nibbling my arm. Him curled up in my car shoes taken off.

I am gladly gladly surprised.