Its so easy to fall in love with you. I am shocked. Surprised more than anything else, about how easy it is to have the flodgates open and to receive your gentle touches, kisses, caresses. To receive you with open and welcoming hands.

I guess I have been so starved of tenderness, kindness that the simplest gestures brings me crashing to my knees. Keeps my eyes open. Looking at you. Falling for you.

Its not so easy to fall out of you. To take a step back and think about this. About us. About how we are moving so fast. To remind myself to not throw myself into this hurricane of emotions. Of passion. Of you and me and the idea of forever.

We need to enjoy the now. But the now is so good I am looking forward to a future.

Its not so easy to fall out of you. But I know I have to. I am older now. Its not easy losing control like this. Going crazy like this.

It shocked me. How much I miss you. How much I could miss you. Scared me. All I thought about today was the thought of running away from you. Away from this all.

You hurt me sometime last week. And we talked about it, and it wasnt intentional and I know it. But it surprised me. Scared me. How easy it was that a sentence out of your mouth was enough to reduce me to tears to want to just run! run! run! as fast away as I could from you.

You told me today. We are both scared. Both afraid of getting hurt. But we shouldnt let that ruin things.

But I know deep down inside, I have fallen deeper than you. Further than you. And the thought of not seeing you there at the other end...

Scares me silly.

I curled up today. In the bed smelling of us. Wrapped your sheets around me. Soaked in the happiness that I have always had. The smile I always end up wearing because of you. The simple memories of our simple life together.

Maybe this isnt forever. But for now its damn good. I have to learn. To appreciate the now more. And to not want the forever future