A surprise. The most romantic one yet. We had planned on a pseudo date. Watching movies together, having dinner together. Pushed apart only by the sea and miles between us. Him in the Middle East, myself here. Four hours time difference. I thought it was cute. I thought it was romantic. To catch up after our movies were done. To talk, to discuss.
Flowers came on Valentines eve. Beautiful big bouquet of red roses sent to my office with the Message "This is surpise #1".
A phone call kept me in anticipation at a warning that Surprise #3 had already been slipped under my door.
I walk back right then. Checked my mailbox and saw his card. All the way from Swiss land where he had been a few days ago.
I walk into my house and notice nothing on the floor. The a/c was on and I kicked myself for raising my electricity bill... again...
A glow of a blackberry in the dark. A stir in the bed.
I screamed.
He looked at me. Beautiful eyes at me. Shocked shocked shocked.
At The Boyfriend who came back to surprise me.
***
A weekend of holding hands, of dinner and brunch. Of talking. Of kissing. Glorious glorious kissing. Rolls in bed. Laughter in the house. A blink of an eye.
And then he was gone.
***
I wait here now. On a Saturday night. Pull out my laptop and am working. An entire market to size. Both bottom up and top-down. To pull it apart by every sub-segment.
On a Saturday night. I have to. There's no way I can complete this before my deadline if not.
***
The Boyfriend being here. Us laughing, talking, holding hands, walking. Us planning out trip.
Reminds me how unhappy I am in my job. How much I loathe the thought of having to work on a Saturday night. How violently ill I feel at the thought of dragging myself to another day at work. Of coming home after a long day and never beeing able to shake that feeling of guilt that I have to work the rest of the night. That I couldnt do anything personal the rest of the night.
The money... its just money after all. Buys me fancy things. Puts me in fancy hotels and homes.
Its an empty home without The Boyfriend. But even if he was here, we would both be working.
Im reaching my breaking point at work. I dont know how much longer I can drag myself through this mudhole slowly dragging me in.
Him being here. Reminded me of things that truly make me happy. And highlighted all the things that dont.
Flowers came on Valentines eve. Beautiful big bouquet of red roses sent to my office with the Message "This is surpise #1".
A phone call kept me in anticipation at a warning that Surprise #3 had already been slipped under my door.
I walk back right then. Checked my mailbox and saw his card. All the way from Swiss land where he had been a few days ago.
I walk into my house and notice nothing on the floor. The a/c was on and I kicked myself for raising my electricity bill... again...
A glow of a blackberry in the dark. A stir in the bed.
I screamed.
He looked at me. Beautiful eyes at me. Shocked shocked shocked.
At The Boyfriend who came back to surprise me.
***
A weekend of holding hands, of dinner and brunch. Of talking. Of kissing. Glorious glorious kissing. Rolls in bed. Laughter in the house. A blink of an eye.
And then he was gone.
***
I wait here now. On a Saturday night. Pull out my laptop and am working. An entire market to size. Both bottom up and top-down. To pull it apart by every sub-segment.
On a Saturday night. I have to. There's no way I can complete this before my deadline if not.
***
The Boyfriend being here. Us laughing, talking, holding hands, walking. Us planning out trip.
Reminds me how unhappy I am in my job. How much I loathe the thought of having to work on a Saturday night. How violently ill I feel at the thought of dragging myself to another day at work. Of coming home after a long day and never beeing able to shake that feeling of guilt that I have to work the rest of the night. That I couldnt do anything personal the rest of the night.
The money... its just money after all. Buys me fancy things. Puts me in fancy hotels and homes.
Its an empty home without The Boyfriend. But even if he was here, we would both be working.
Im reaching my breaking point at work. I dont know how much longer I can drag myself through this mudhole slowly dragging me in.
Him being here. Reminded me of things that truly make me happy. And highlighted all the things that dont.
