I still have nightmares about him. About us. Of our fight.

I still dream of him saying to me that he is an independent man. That he doesnt need me.

I still remember that he doesnt need me.

I still remember the honestly candidly painful things he said to me. I still replay it in my mind every day.

I still dont trust. A friend of mine once said. The hardest thing to do, is to try and trust the same person again once they lose it. Ruin it.

Dreams of us in a friendly land. Dreams of him leaving me to live his life. Dreams of him silent when I am screaming at the top of my head

"I am here to be with you! I guess we just had different expectations after all"

Sometimes I cannot distinguish what is real from what isnt anymore. Battling it out between thinking with my head, and thinking with my heart

Some mornings... I still wake up crying