Is it possible to visit your Boyfriends family without the expectation of getting married?
Apparently, according to all social conventions, No.
I am tired of having to deal with all these conversations where everyone asks me how my trip to see my 'In-laws' went. I am tired of the little winks and giggles of when am I going to be married. Tired of smiling and pretending to not matter.
wtf dude, its none of your business.
Thing is, The Boyfriend and I talked about it before. I told him that the "Asian" in me feels that after dating for two years, it is common courtesy to see the family once in a while. You know, just drop by and be like "oh hey, yeah Im the person she spends a lot of time with". It has nothing to do with wanting to get married, or wanting children, or anything like that. Its more as a sign of respect to your parents, of not going behind their back.
So for me, going to spend time with his family was simply that. I would like to get to know his family better, to understand better the reasons and what has contributed to shaping my man into who he is today. I liked going back and seeing where he grew up, of seeing him in his own environment, in his own element to truly get to know who he is. For example, now I actually understand why he would be crazy enough to go to the snow covered mountains in the middle of winter (its called skiing)
Do I think about marriage? Yeah, sure I do. But do I see him inviting me over to spend the holidays with him as an indication that he wants to marry me? No I dont. Weve had talks about reasons to go down for a vacation, and indication of marriage was clearly not one of them. Testing the waters with his parents were clearly not one of them either.
So do me a favor. Next time you see me, feel free to ask me how my vacation went, did I have fun, was it cold, what did I do. But stop trying to make little jokes about in-laws or getting married or setting up shop or family or anything like that. Its a little annoying to be honest. Because when I do plan on getting married, dont worry, Im pretty sure Ill announce it to the world.
And the part that irks me as well, The Boyfriend never has anyone up in his grill all about it. Whats up with that? Am I the less scary person so people feel like they can say those things to me?
Apparently, according to all social conventions, No.
I am tired of having to deal with all these conversations where everyone asks me how my trip to see my 'In-laws' went. I am tired of the little winks and giggles of when am I going to be married. Tired of smiling and pretending to not matter.
wtf dude, its none of your business.
Thing is, The Boyfriend and I talked about it before. I told him that the "Asian" in me feels that after dating for two years, it is common courtesy to see the family once in a while. You know, just drop by and be like "oh hey, yeah Im the person she spends a lot of time with". It has nothing to do with wanting to get married, or wanting children, or anything like that. Its more as a sign of respect to your parents, of not going behind their back.
So for me, going to spend time with his family was simply that. I would like to get to know his family better, to understand better the reasons and what has contributed to shaping my man into who he is today. I liked going back and seeing where he grew up, of seeing him in his own environment, in his own element to truly get to know who he is. For example, now I actually understand why he would be crazy enough to go to the snow covered mountains in the middle of winter (its called skiing)
Do I think about marriage? Yeah, sure I do. But do I see him inviting me over to spend the holidays with him as an indication that he wants to marry me? No I dont. Weve had talks about reasons to go down for a vacation, and indication of marriage was clearly not one of them. Testing the waters with his parents were clearly not one of them either.
So do me a favor. Next time you see me, feel free to ask me how my vacation went, did I have fun, was it cold, what did I do. But stop trying to make little jokes about in-laws or getting married or setting up shop or family or anything like that. Its a little annoying to be honest. Because when I do plan on getting married, dont worry, Im pretty sure Ill announce it to the world.
And the part that irks me as well, The Boyfriend never has anyone up in his grill all about it. Whats up with that? Am I the less scary person so people feel like they can say those things to me?
What! Now!
You are not thinking of Babies,Nest building,Ikea,Bunnings to choose Colours,Sinks,TapFittings
or some exclusive ikkle DIY Bod who can do it all for you cus they made such a glorious job of You know whos.
Do U Mean peeps have to consider
U 2 are at one with the concept of an Open 21st cent-tu-ary Relationship!
Eck un Stuff Gal, what are you Tinking.Cus No matter how at one you 2 are with your inner doctrine, sad to say its just not really comfortable to most near and dear to get their eads round. So you may have to placate them with a Huge Fake Diamond Engagement ring if it goes on much longer. Followed by a party at Maccers on the kiddy chairs, tell all its the "New Ting" and they're one of the first to partake ect ect ect .
Or just switch off the ears, nod politely and talk about knitting Patterns. LOL
As for your bloke not getting hassled by his mates;well they are not really keen on knitting patterns and girly plans about all that stuff and generally the pack instinct is to avoid "that" chit chat cus there is Secret Mens Business to yarn about.
At this point i realise i have waffled on for quite awhile about dis un dat, so i will end on a positive note cus you sound like positive peeps. In the kindest way you know how, "Ignore it" cus your both grounded individuals
enjoying each others company,
Un living life to the full. Recognising the world has a lot of individuals squeezed into small cottage blocks with wonderful views of next doors fence.