Ive mentioned a few times my distaste for women I deem to be gold diggers. I absolutely loathe women who depend on men for money, a way of life, luxury. I especially dont understand this need when the woman herself is in a job of a good position with reasonable pay.
Case study 1: The colleague who got her bf to pay for half of her Chanel 2.55 bag.
Why half u ask? well, do u guys know how much that thing costs? It would be pretty crazy to expect him to buy her the entire thing. Its not even her birthday, or xmas, or valentines day. He truly does not understand why she wants/ needs it. AND as I mentioned, she is my colleague, someone who earns a very good sum... so if she wanted it, why cant she just buy it herself?
Case study 2: A friend recently got himself a gf. A FIRST gf I might add. Theyve been going out for maybe 3 months now, and she is trying to angle herself to get him to buy her a Louis Vuitton Speedy bag. This guy and I are very good friends. He told me it would be sweet of him to buy it for her right? I looked at him and almost struck him. "Its a little stupid I think" After all, he had already paid for her travels to an island (he didnt go), flew her up paid for the hotel and all dinner expenses in Bali, and pretty much pays for everything... AND SHE IS EMPLOYED
Case study 3: My own brother. He doesnt even live in this country. He works in Japan, notoriously known for being expensive and for having really bad work hours. He doesnt even send money to my parents, but gives money to his gf in this country MONTHLY. I ask myself, why cant this woman GET A JOB. What is she doing anyways? Just hanging out here? I mean seriously, go and earn yourself your own income woman!
Anyways, some people say that this is a result of my upbringing. And that in Asia its pretty understandable and common even to expect presents or gifts from your partner. My mother asks me if The Boyfriend ever bought me anything when we went shopping. I looked at her shocked and said "WHY should he?" After all, I want it, shouldnt I be the one to get it? - this is of course a huge contradiction on my mothers part since she was the huge patron of "You need to earn your own income and life and never have to depend on a man"
So, recently I thought about heading out to The Boyfriends home country for Xmas. He invited me up. Immediately the reaction from my mother and Case study 1 colleague was "Isnt he paying for your flight?"
My reaction was 0_o ???
"Why should he?"
"Because he asked you to come visit"
"Yes, but I ask a lot of people to visit, doesnt mean I pay for it"
"But he's your boyfriend"
"So?"
"So he should pay for it"
"Why?"
"Because he's your boyfriend and he asked you to come up and visit"
As you can probably tell, this would become a pretty repetitive conversation.
So, my point is... am I overreacting? Should a boyfriend/ partner be buying you things (for non-special ocassions?)
And should I be ok with it? - ok I mean I am completely fine with him buying me flowers or chocs or something he knows I would really like, like a mask, but am sooooo not ok with him paying for my outfits that I want to shop for or a handbag that I had saved up to buy
Case study 1: The colleague who got her bf to pay for half of her Chanel 2.55 bag.
Why half u ask? well, do u guys know how much that thing costs? It would be pretty crazy to expect him to buy her the entire thing. Its not even her birthday, or xmas, or valentines day. He truly does not understand why she wants/ needs it. AND as I mentioned, she is my colleague, someone who earns a very good sum... so if she wanted it, why cant she just buy it herself?
Case study 2: A friend recently got himself a gf. A FIRST gf I might add. Theyve been going out for maybe 3 months now, and she is trying to angle herself to get him to buy her a Louis Vuitton Speedy bag. This guy and I are very good friends. He told me it would be sweet of him to buy it for her right? I looked at him and almost struck him. "Its a little stupid I think" After all, he had already paid for her travels to an island (he didnt go), flew her up paid for the hotel and all dinner expenses in Bali, and pretty much pays for everything... AND SHE IS EMPLOYED
Case study 3: My own brother. He doesnt even live in this country. He works in Japan, notoriously known for being expensive and for having really bad work hours. He doesnt even send money to my parents, but gives money to his gf in this country MONTHLY. I ask myself, why cant this woman GET A JOB. What is she doing anyways? Just hanging out here? I mean seriously, go and earn yourself your own income woman!
Anyways, some people say that this is a result of my upbringing. And that in Asia its pretty understandable and common even to expect presents or gifts from your partner. My mother asks me if The Boyfriend ever bought me anything when we went shopping. I looked at her shocked and said "WHY should he?" After all, I want it, shouldnt I be the one to get it? - this is of course a huge contradiction on my mothers part since she was the huge patron of "You need to earn your own income and life and never have to depend on a man"
So, recently I thought about heading out to The Boyfriends home country for Xmas. He invited me up. Immediately the reaction from my mother and Case study 1 colleague was "Isnt he paying for your flight?"
My reaction was 0_o ???
"Why should he?"
"Because he asked you to come visit"
"Yes, but I ask a lot of people to visit, doesnt mean I pay for it"
"But he's your boyfriend"
"So?"
"So he should pay for it"
"Why?"
"Because he's your boyfriend and he asked you to come up and visit"
As you can probably tell, this would become a pretty repetitive conversation.
So, my point is... am I overreacting? Should a boyfriend/ partner be buying you things (for non-special ocassions?)
And should I be ok with it? - ok I mean I am completely fine with him buying me flowers or chocs or something he knows I would really like, like a mask, but am sooooo not ok with him paying for my outfits that I want to shop for or a handbag that I had saved up to buy
Think you know where I stand on this. In an equal partnership where both partners earn enough money, why should one pay for the other unless it's a sincere gift?
The reasoning of these ladies and friends of yours is that: everything or most things should be a gift from the man. Why the man? Because he's the man and we expect it. Which is a stupid reason, but then again I am a post-modern feminist, which these women clearly are NOT and to them I offer my contempt.
Pay for your own flight, owe nothing to anyone and hold your head high, gf. xx