He comes home this weekend. Home to me, home to me cooking dinner for us for the very first time in this whole time that we have been together. Maybe that is how it is with us, it takes longer than normal for us to move forward. With us dancing left right, behind and front. But slowly, baby steps, we are moving forward.
We talk. I know he is tired, sense his tiredness. But he ceases to snap at me. Instead, he tries to talk to me, instead he listens to me. Instead he laughs with me, and makes jokes with me. He is trying and beyond everything else. I know he is trying and it makes me incredibly happy.
We talk, late into the night. Revisit each others philosophies of life. Of how it would be like to grow older with each other. The first weekend we were together it was a semi joke, something we could laugh at. When we spoke about the white picket fence, about having children, about growing old. About having our own little cooking space and our own cooking utensils. That one evening was a laugh for us. A test, but more than that, a laugh. But now... now those conversations have meanings. They start to hold bigger promises. We choose our words wisely now, look inside ourselves, question ourselves for a little bit, to understand how would we act in the future. It carries something serious now. We talk, and listen, and we will decide if the future together if what we can do. If we have the same thoughts, the same ideas on how the future might be, how we might raise our children if we decided to have any
I used to think that The Boyfriend brought out the best in me. In his company, I have always wanted to be a better woman. I have always wanted to bury my past and start over. I used to think that I was the lucky one this whole time. That I offered him nothing, but he offered me everything
I realize now, how complementary it is. Now, I feel that I bring out the better man in him. The man that wants to try, to talk, to make an effort. A man that is checking his temper more. Realizes more, how easy voice and language and diction can hurt someone. The man that I first fell for, the sweet, gentle man with the big heart
Because at the end of the day, it was his heart that I fell for. And we've gone through the ups and downs, the anger and the crying. But Ive always known that inside he is a good man. And I am hoping that I am helping him bring it out and shine it up a bit more just as he has brought out the best in me...
We talk. I know he is tired, sense his tiredness. But he ceases to snap at me. Instead, he tries to talk to me, instead he listens to me. Instead he laughs with me, and makes jokes with me. He is trying and beyond everything else. I know he is trying and it makes me incredibly happy.
We talk, late into the night. Revisit each others philosophies of life. Of how it would be like to grow older with each other. The first weekend we were together it was a semi joke, something we could laugh at. When we spoke about the white picket fence, about having children, about growing old. About having our own little cooking space and our own cooking utensils. That one evening was a laugh for us. A test, but more than that, a laugh. But now... now those conversations have meanings. They start to hold bigger promises. We choose our words wisely now, look inside ourselves, question ourselves for a little bit, to understand how would we act in the future. It carries something serious now. We talk, and listen, and we will decide if the future together if what we can do. If we have the same thoughts, the same ideas on how the future might be, how we might raise our children if we decided to have any
I used to think that The Boyfriend brought out the best in me. In his company, I have always wanted to be a better woman. I have always wanted to bury my past and start over. I used to think that I was the lucky one this whole time. That I offered him nothing, but he offered me everything
I realize now, how complementary it is. Now, I feel that I bring out the better man in him. The man that wants to try, to talk, to make an effort. A man that is checking his temper more. Realizes more, how easy voice and language and diction can hurt someone. The man that I first fell for, the sweet, gentle man with the big heart
Because at the end of the day, it was his heart that I fell for. And we've gone through the ups and downs, the anger and the crying. But Ive always known that inside he is a good man. And I am hoping that I am helping him bring it out and shine it up a bit more just as he has brought out the best in me...
