ah.. yet again...
with a shrug and a sigh...he builds back walls we have both broken down...
with a shrug and a sigh...he builds back walls we have both broken down...
Ive been swamped with work. Slowly, unknowingly to me... they have been lulling us into enjoying ourselves with 7.30p.m. office closures and case team dinners.... then WHAM!
All the work piles up. Ah well, at least there is something to do every day now, instead of mucking around while pretending to do work.
The trip to that tropical paradise was wonderful. Buddy and I barely left the room. Opting instead to rent a DVD player, bring some DVDs and cuddle up for some movies. We ordered room service, read and when we couldnt bear the thought of all the money we had waster to just stay inside in a tropical paradise, we dragged ourselves out, walked hand in hand by the beach, built a sand castle together, swam together and tanned (or burned in his case) together. We also went out for dinner.... three times.
It was good being with him and just him with no cares about work or the real world. It was nice to be able to hold hands and kiss in public and go back together. All those things you used to take for granted in the US.
We had talked a few days before we left and he started a conversation about jewellery which abruptly had to be stopped since we had to get off the phone. He insisted on continuing the topic of conversation on our holiday.
So whilst in the car, I brought up the topic and lo and behold! he asks me.
"So whats important in an engagement ring?"
Yes my dear friends. My jaw fell open, my stomach fell to my knees.
I blinked.
"You mean to me, or to women in general?"
*pause*
"both"
and so we entered a discussion on it. No, he did not pop the question, nor did I even expect him to ask. After much deliberation with the best friend I had decided to not even try to think of the future and to let it be as it is. So, we discussed it as how we discussed every other topic. Rationally, calmly, laced with facts and figures.
I didnt think about it, nor do I want to think about it. I dont want to jump the gun. I dont want to ponder.
But it opened the door... Am I ready? Will I ever be ready?
All the work piles up. Ah well, at least there is something to do every day now, instead of mucking around while pretending to do work.
The trip to that tropical paradise was wonderful. Buddy and I barely left the room. Opting instead to rent a DVD player, bring some DVDs and cuddle up for some movies. We ordered room service, read and when we couldnt bear the thought of all the money we had waster to just stay inside in a tropical paradise, we dragged ourselves out, walked hand in hand by the beach, built a sand castle together, swam together and tanned (or burned in his case) together. We also went out for dinner.... three times.
It was good being with him and just him with no cares about work or the real world. It was nice to be able to hold hands and kiss in public and go back together. All those things you used to take for granted in the US.
We had talked a few days before we left and he started a conversation about jewellery which abruptly had to be stopped since we had to get off the phone. He insisted on continuing the topic of conversation on our holiday.
So whilst in the car, I brought up the topic and lo and behold! he asks me.
"So whats important in an engagement ring?"
Yes my dear friends. My jaw fell open, my stomach fell to my knees.
I blinked.
"You mean to me, or to women in general?"
*pause*
"both"
and so we entered a discussion on it. No, he did not pop the question, nor did I even expect him to ask. After much deliberation with the best friend I had decided to not even try to think of the future and to let it be as it is. So, we discussed it as how we discussed every other topic. Rationally, calmly, laced with facts and figures.
I didnt think about it, nor do I want to think about it. I dont want to jump the gun. I dont want to ponder.
But it opened the door... Am I ready? Will I ever be ready?
Wow... that girl who sang let it be on American Idol was really good. You can deff feel her heart pouring into it.
All my bags are packed. Well one bag. Stuffed. For a weekend away with Buddy. I am off! to a resort island where we would while away the time staring into each others eyes, cuddling up while watching DVDs, ordering room service, and pretty much rarely leaving the room. It will be bliss... You dont want to be there.
In 3 weeks time, I will kidnap him and whisk him off to that remote place where no internet wave or cell phone wave can penetrate through. Where the sounds of crickets (perhaps) would serenade us into slumber.
Apparently the month after, Buddy has something up his sleeve. A place he, in turn would like to bundle me up and whisk me away to.
We discussed it, and he decided it would be best for us to not see each other on the weekdays, so that we can finish up whatever we are supposed to finish up. So that on weekends he can enjoy time with me and I with him where we won't worry about stressing the other person out. About that giant rush for time.
We have moved so fast we are like an old couple. Comfortable with each other but still-cant-wait-to-ravage-you stage. Its a nice stage.
In the middle of one night, he tells me he is thinking about the medium and long term future of us. And he cant decide. He cant tell if we would last that long or if we should last that long.
I am resigned to the fact that he will break my heart. That he will change his mind.
But I have learnt to love him one day at a time. And it is helping me.
All my bags are packed. Well one bag. Stuffed. For a weekend away with Buddy. I am off! to a resort island where we would while away the time staring into each others eyes, cuddling up while watching DVDs, ordering room service, and pretty much rarely leaving the room. It will be bliss... You dont want to be there.
In 3 weeks time, I will kidnap him and whisk him off to that remote place where no internet wave or cell phone wave can penetrate through. Where the sounds of crickets (perhaps) would serenade us into slumber.
Apparently the month after, Buddy has something up his sleeve. A place he, in turn would like to bundle me up and whisk me away to.
We discussed it, and he decided it would be best for us to not see each other on the weekdays, so that we can finish up whatever we are supposed to finish up. So that on weekends he can enjoy time with me and I with him where we won't worry about stressing the other person out. About that giant rush for time.
We have moved so fast we are like an old couple. Comfortable with each other but still-cant-wait-to-ravage-you stage. Its a nice stage.
In the middle of one night, he tells me he is thinking about the medium and long term future of us. And he cant decide. He cant tell if we would last that long or if we should last that long.
I am resigned to the fact that he will break my heart. That he will change his mind.
But I have learnt to love him one day at a time. And it is helping me.
I was with Buddy at a concert today. Some of our friends who had no idea we were dating showed up as well and we had to play it cool. To not show it. While a performer was on stage, I came to realize the backup dancer was an ex of mine! or looked really similar to an ex of mine. Seeing that we had'nt seen each other for over five years, I figured it was fine to mention it to Buddy. Plus I was excited... like I said, I havent seen him in so long.
As we stood there, guess who walks by with his girlfriend... Car guy! I almost said hi to him as a natural instinct. But didnt. But I mentioned it to Buddy as he stood besides me.
He is running. And sometimes I cannot stop him. My past is catching up even faster now. Faster and faster and faster. I dont know if he can forgive me my past sins. I dont know if he can accept me for my past life.
He is ready to run, and I cannot hold him down anymore.
As we stood there, guess who walks by with his girlfriend... Car guy! I almost said hi to him as a natural instinct. But didnt. But I mentioned it to Buddy as he stood besides me.
He is running. And sometimes I cannot stop him. My past is catching up even faster now. Faster and faster and faster. I dont know if he can forgive me my past sins. I dont know if he can accept me for my past life.
He is ready to run, and I cannot hold him down anymore.
I guess its been a while since I wrote about things other than men. And after a while, I guess that can be boring.
The most recent election was one of the most fascinating one that we've had. Ever. Pivotal changes happened when the government coalition that had ruled for about 50 years was brought crumbling down to its knees losing 5 major states.
What are the implications? The rich states are gone. The policies that protect the rights of certain racial groups wiped out in the north.
There has been some backlash on that abolishment of what some people consider their "right"
Ive always been against the new economic policy. I dont think Malays need to have special rights over someone else just because we were born with certain color skin. I dont think we need "help". And the thing that pissed me off the most was when people would ask if my prestigious company had a Malay "quota" and to say to me that I got my scholarship because Im Malay.
Here's a little tip to you. I got here because I busted my ass, just like all the chinese, just like all the other Malays who have succeeded. Do not try to demean my achievements by saying it is because of the color of my skin. Its not. Did the NEP help me? to be honest I dont know. I think it might have helped my parents way back when it was needed.
Its not anymore. Its a good thing theyre taking it away. We are after all, all equals. I am not handicapped, my people are not handicapped. We can make it on our own thank you very much.
Plus. So many of those higher ups are abusing the NEP. Its not doing what its meant to do, which is to protect the poor. Lets base the help on need now, not race.
I agree with this statement...
Nazri: We may see end of NEP
By SHAHANAAZ HABIB
Newsdesk@thestar.com.my
KUALA LUMPUR: The election results signal the beginning of the possible demise of the New Economic Policy (NEP) and special rights for the Malays, said Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz.
The Umno supreme council member said it appeared that the Malays, especially in the town areas, had become more confident now and felt they could compete with the other races on a level playing field.
“We (Umno) have to really sit down and think. It looks like the educated Malays do not care about Malay rights anymore,” he said when contacted.
“The Malay doctors, lawyers, engineers feel they have made it on their own merit.
“It looks like the NEP is not something that can be used to persuade the Malays to support the Barisan Nasional.
“The Malays are saying ‘you can’t scare us by talking about us losing our rights, because we are here on our own merit’.”
Nazri said it looked like some Malays felt that the NEP was unfair, and questioned why special rights should be given to the Malays.
He described the new confidence among the Malays as good for the Malay psyche.
In the just concluded election, the Barisan only managed a simple majority in Parliament, and lost five states (Kedah, Selangor, Kelantan, Penang and Perak) to the Opposition.
The Opposition had largely said they would dismantle the NEP and put in a place a new affirmative action policy based on need rather than race.
Nazri, who retained his Padang Rengas parliamentary seat by a majority of 1,749 votes, said he barely survived the political tsunami.
He said the youngsters – Chinese, Indians and Malays – who returned from Kuala Lumpur to vote in Perak had tried to persuade their parents, who are Barisan supporters, to either not go out to vote or vote for the Opposition.
“I only survived because of my personal touch with the voters,” he said.
He believed the political landscape in the country had changed irreversibly and that all parties would now have to work harder.
“Every wakil rakyat will have to work to win the hearts of the people. This is good for Malaysia because, at the end of the day, it is the rakyat who benefits,” he said.
The most recent election was one of the most fascinating one that we've had. Ever. Pivotal changes happened when the government coalition that had ruled for about 50 years was brought crumbling down to its knees losing 5 major states.
What are the implications? The rich states are gone. The policies that protect the rights of certain racial groups wiped out in the north.
There has been some backlash on that abolishment of what some people consider their "right"
Ive always been against the new economic policy. I dont think Malays need to have special rights over someone else just because we were born with certain color skin. I dont think we need "help". And the thing that pissed me off the most was when people would ask if my prestigious company had a Malay "quota" and to say to me that I got my scholarship because Im Malay.
Here's a little tip to you. I got here because I busted my ass, just like all the chinese, just like all the other Malays who have succeeded. Do not try to demean my achievements by saying it is because of the color of my skin. Its not. Did the NEP help me? to be honest I dont know. I think it might have helped my parents way back when it was needed.
Its not anymore. Its a good thing theyre taking it away. We are after all, all equals. I am not handicapped, my people are not handicapped. We can make it on our own thank you very much.
Plus. So many of those higher ups are abusing the NEP. Its not doing what its meant to do, which is to protect the poor. Lets base the help on need now, not race.
I agree with this statement...
Nazri: We may see end of NEP
By SHAHANAAZ HABIB
Newsdesk@thestar.com.my
KUALA LUMPUR: The election results signal the beginning of the possible demise of the New Economic Policy (NEP) and special rights for the Malays, said Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz.
The Umno supreme council member said it appeared that the Malays, especially in the town areas, had become more confident now and felt they could compete with the other races on a level playing field.
“We (Umno) have to really sit down and think. It looks like the educated Malays do not care about Malay rights anymore,” he said when contacted.
“The Malay doctors, lawyers, engineers feel they have made it on their own merit.
“It looks like the NEP is not something that can be used to persuade the Malays to support the Barisan Nasional.
“The Malays are saying ‘you can’t scare us by talking about us losing our rights, because we are here on our own merit’.”
Nazri said it looked like some Malays felt that the NEP was unfair, and questioned why special rights should be given to the Malays.
He described the new confidence among the Malays as good for the Malay psyche.
In the just concluded election, the Barisan only managed a simple majority in Parliament, and lost five states (Kedah, Selangor, Kelantan, Penang and Perak) to the Opposition.
The Opposition had largely said they would dismantle the NEP and put in a place a new affirmative action policy based on need rather than race.
Nazri, who retained his Padang Rengas parliamentary seat by a majority of 1,749 votes, said he barely survived the political tsunami.
He said the youngsters – Chinese, Indians and Malays – who returned from Kuala Lumpur to vote in Perak had tried to persuade their parents, who are Barisan supporters, to either not go out to vote or vote for the Opposition.
“I only survived because of my personal touch with the voters,” he said.
He believed the political landscape in the country had changed irreversibly and that all parties would now have to work harder.
“Every wakil rakyat will have to work to win the hearts of the people. This is good for Malaysia because, at the end of the day, it is the rakyat who benefits,” he said.
The Italian is back. Coming back into contact with me after yet another long hiatus.
This time around, I do nothing. This time around I say its over.
Cant wait for Buddy to come back and wrap me in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into my ear.
Goodbye Italian...
Until I need u again
This time around, I do nothing. This time around I say its over.
Cant wait for Buddy to come back and wrap me in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into my ear.
Goodbye Italian...
Until I need u again
