Its hard sometimes. When everybody knows you, or when everybody thinks they know you. When nobody wants to hear your fears; push it aside when you bring it up.

For months I have slowly shared my fears with others, and every single time people tell me I'll be fine. Friends tell me Im being too pessimistic. That there is no way such a thing can happen to me. That I am young, and smart and successful.

So after a while I got tired of listening to all the hopes and dreams. To listening to how people brush away my fears.

You put on your poker face, you walk out in the world and everyday the same thing happens. You wake up, you go to work, you come back... work somemore.

Always always always at the back of your mind it bugs you, those fears creep up. And you deal with it in the quiet of the night. Right before you sleep, when you're walking down the street. When you're alone.

My fears were finally confirmed today. The bad news, the gauntlet finally fell.

Luckily I was more than prepared, luckily more than ever, I am ready to freefall once again into the big bad beautiful ugly world.

Soon... very very soon. I will leave the corporate world behind.

I have no idea where I want to go, no idea what I want to do.

But The Boyfriend tells me...

"go out... and conquer the world"

And maybe, just maybe I have reached the freedom to do so...