I run.

When problems pop up around me, I run.
When family problems start popping up, I run.
When work starts getting shitty, I run.
When people around me start collapsing, I run.

I run and run and run and run and run

Im lucky compared to some, I have the money to get away... far far away... run all the way to the Middle East and into the arms of a man who loves me enough that all I want to do is erase everything and start over with him. Just me and him.

It helps, but it doesnt stop anything, doesnt solve anything.

Eight years and counting... and my nightmares still come chasing after me

The more I am here, the more I realize I dont want to be here. Its a horrible catch 22 you see. My love for travel great, I am reminded time and time again about how truly magnificent it is. Last year I saw Hong Kong, Taiwan, Australia, Laos, Vietnam, India, Singapore, Indonesia, Thailand. This year I saw Spain, Dubai, Abu Dhabi...

By this weeks end, I will return to the Middle East to spend one week with The Boyfriend, running off to an island of left behind game reserve.

Early in the 2009, the Boyfriend and I are hoping to head back to India, this time to Agra for the Taj Mahal, Kashmir to watch him ski, and Delhi to dance the night away while a friend gets married amidst the laughter, singing and dancing.

Every time I come back, I feel tired, depressed and wanting for more. I am addicted, to seeing the world and learning about it. My tv constantly tuned to the travel channel, my envy for the likes of Samantha Brown insurmountable.

I miss being a nomad, and I miss being home. Entering the office is a depressing ordeal. Yet I remind myself that I have to do it. If not, I wont be able to afford all these travels. So I have to work to leave, yet when I leave I never want to come back.

Maybe if I saved enough I would be able to do it. One year before or after my business school, to just leave for a few months and continue my journey exploring....

I managed to finish all my work.. Now am just pretending to type a lot so that people think Im working.

Need to lay low........

I managed to finish all my work.. Now am just pretending to type a lot so that people think Im working.

Need to lay low........

He came back. Finally, after a few months away in the desert islands. He came back to me, for me.

I held him, spent the night held by him. Lazed around in bed together, barely a care in the world. My hands back in his. Our brunch tradition upheld. Laughing over a secret dinner.

That feeling, knowing he will always come back to me, for me...

I cant imagine how I had lived without knowing that

Credit card bills... credit card bills...

*dies*

I guess this is what happens when u buy six pairs of shoes over the weekend

Is the economy getting so bad that I cant even get upgraded to a suite for one night due to the hotel being full

Blardy 300 more. A drop in the bucket for a multi million dollar company...

Damn pissed. They would rather send me out to a cheaper hotel that requires me moving all my stuff and potentially coming into work late than pay a little extra for ONE BLARDY NIGHT

Some people envy my travels and my life. That I can fly from Abu Dhabi to Cambodia to Singapore in a blink of an eye and have all expenses covered. That I do not have to worry (for now) for an income and the future.

Here's a little secret

Ive worked every weekend since I started my project, and trust me, working while on holiday is the worse feeling in the world. You feel robbed, gypped. Ive been sleeping at 3 am for 3 straight days and late nights on all others. Ive been yelled at, have clients walk out on me, get asked if I actually know what Im talking about. Ive had to travel everywhere and anywhere... at a drop of a hat.

I dont have clean clothes.

Life isnt always going to be easy, there's a lot more to it. Its just that people always show the good and the pretty and never the scars, the battle wounds... the tears