For the past two weeks The Boyfriend had been away on vacation. He travelled to Thailand, to Cambodia.. to Kashmir and back.
In between we managed to sneak half a day to go out a little bit around this country with his family.
We barely spoke on the phone. Its hard after all to get some reception, any reception up in the mountains in Kashmir.
He came back on a Monday morning, and in two hours flew out again to Singapore for work. Current project for him is quite tough. Hours are long and he is tired. And cranky. And he'll be on this project for a month.
So we still; barely talk.
After he's done, at the end of the month, I am off to sunny Spain for two weeks. I doubt we would talk much for the exact same reasons we didnt talk when he was travelling. It might be a bit expensive.
So in all, we would have barely spoken to each other for about two months.
Ive gotten so used to having him there, listening to me. Hearing him. And now we've been reduced to sporadic e-mails in the day.
I know he's worth it. But I dont know how long I can keep this up. Its almost like not having a boyfriend at all. In a way, even more painful as you're caught in between trying to be independent and not. When he's gone I return back to my independent self. Problem is, I cant differentiate emotions to remember that I am still dependent on him for love.
Its a black and white world for me. And this land in between with no words but just text, once in a while.
I dont know how long I can handle this
In between we managed to sneak half a day to go out a little bit around this country with his family.
We barely spoke on the phone. Its hard after all to get some reception, any reception up in the mountains in Kashmir.
He came back on a Monday morning, and in two hours flew out again to Singapore for work. Current project for him is quite tough. Hours are long and he is tired. And cranky. And he'll be on this project for a month.
So we still; barely talk.
After he's done, at the end of the month, I am off to sunny Spain for two weeks. I doubt we would talk much for the exact same reasons we didnt talk when he was travelling. It might be a bit expensive.
So in all, we would have barely spoken to each other for about two months.
Ive gotten so used to having him there, listening to me. Hearing him. And now we've been reduced to sporadic e-mails in the day.
I know he's worth it. But I dont know how long I can keep this up. Its almost like not having a boyfriend at all. In a way, even more painful as you're caught in between trying to be independent and not. When he's gone I return back to my independent self. Problem is, I cant differentiate emotions to remember that I am still dependent on him for love.
Its a black and white world for me. And this land in between with no words but just text, once in a while.
I dont know how long I can handle this
*SMACK*
Snap out of it. And please do not come and tell me that phone calls are expensive. Al and I called each other pretty much every night for a year while we were apart. You don't have to talk for so long everytime, but sometimes picking up the phone just to say hi and to hear his voice is enough to put you at ease and remind yourself why you're with him. You'll survive. You know you will. Because if you really want something you'll do what it takes to have it. And you're not dumb enough to lose it just because it's out of sight.
...but then again I am without a boyfriend myself, so....
it depends on how much you want it, babe. xxx